Here is a response to a recent prompt by moniquecaradine.com It’s pretty good check it out below. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to save your relationship after cheating, stop a divorce, or you just want to get your ex back. If I knew how to bake cookies, I would do that and send over a care package but I’m much better at telling jokes so I go there and entertain, shake hands and thank the men and women who serve our country. Brad Garret is a stand-up comedian but also well known for his acting career.
**************************************************************************************************** Here’s a submission for prompt 659
Write a poem about this place. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to save your relationship after cheating, stop a divorce, or you just want to get your ex back. If I knew how to bake cookies, I would do that and send over a care package but Im much better at telling jokes so I go there and entertain, shake hands and thank the men and women who serve our country. Brad Garret is a stand-up comedian but also well known for his acting career. Here is a response for prompt 613 from Amanda. It’s really good check it out.
One, two, three, four, five I’ll open my eyes on the count of ten and everything will be alright. I opened up my pale green eyes to the darkness of my little room. I looked around; I was sitting on my bed and it was covered in… feathers? I twisted around to the right and saw that my pillow had been ripped to shreds. I tried to remember why I felt frightened in the first place. My deep breathing had subsided and my heart was no longer pounding against my chest. I felt my forehead. No fever. I threw my blankets toward my purple wall and stumbled my way into the bathroom. I flicked on the light and splashed cold water onto my face. When I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror I saw that my eyes were red-rimmed and puffy like I’d been crying. I focused and could still feel the lump in my throat. Why in the hell can’t I remember what happened? Frustrated, I walked swiftly but softly down the stairs and into the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of tea and drank it all in four big gulps. I turned around to face the window and I saw a pair of bright blue eyes staring back at me. I gasped and dropped my glass onto the floor. It was a boy. I heard it shatter and looked down. When I threw my head back up to see if he was still there I just barely saw him sprint into the woods in my backyard. I wanted to follow after him but my feet felt glued to the floor. My parents frantically rushed into the kitchen. They were asking me questions and trying to shake me out of my trance but I didn’t move one muscle. I just kept staring out the window and longed for the boy with those beautiful blue eyes. submitted 10/26/2013
Submitted on 2013/06/11 at 12:20 am
This is by Jess. “I went to the estate sale on Carltun Place, bought a pretty necklace, paid for it, and them put it on as I walked home. That’s the last I remember! Why don’t you believe me,” I sobbed, repeating, for what felt like the thousandth time, my story, since I woke up a day and a half ago in, get this, a jail cell. I awoke, feeling thirsty and light headed, I was dehydrated, the doctors told me. I called out and about five guards came running. Apparently my voice was different, higher, less gruff, they said. It was then that I realized where I was. And that I didn’t remember a thing. It felt like I went to sleep and woke up the next day, except it wasn’t the next day. It was two weeks later. Two weeks! And I don’t remember a thing. I was immediately brought to an interrogation room that felt vaguely familiar. Like I’d been there in a dream. That’s when they told me I’d been acting strangely for the past couple weeks. But that was all of the information they provided, no elaboration. They seemed like they’d expected me to fill in the gaps for them, but I didn’t even know how I’d gotten there. “Take me to my family! My mother and father! My brother! Someone! Any familiar face! Please,” I begged. “Do any of you have children? Oh they must be worried sick about me! Can’t you just-” “Stop Adelaide. There is something we need to tell you. You may want to sit down,” the officer directly in front of me said. I glanced around at the other officers. Neither of them would look me in the eye. I sat down, slowly, unsure of what to think. “Adelaide…there’s no easy way to tell you this. Your parents…your brother…most of your friends…they’ve…well they’ve been killed.” I stared at him. I didn’t want to believe him. I didn’t, I didn’t, I didn’t! I felt fresh tears stream down my face. “Who?” I asked in a feeble voice, just before I surrendered myself to the shuddering sobs that racked my body. “Who killed them?” I whispered. The three officers in the room shared a look until finally one of them spoke up. “You did.” |
It’s my response to prompt #539.Okay here’s my poem. It doesn’t have a title:Creeping down the dimly lit streets
It chases you, knife in hand.
Bloody from its previous victims
Killed from the most fatal event.
You feel the glare of the firey red eyes,
Slits stabbed in its head.
You hear the low growl that escape
Between long blade-sharp teeth.Your soul knows it’s stalking you;
Your being begs you to run.
But your mind ignores the thoughts:
It thinks you’re scaring yourself
On this unbelieveably dark night.It’s black as coal,
It’s blind as bat eyes;
The only thing to light your path
Is slowly rotting deformed faces.You stop just once
To grab your wants,
But this is a mistake.
You want to scream,
Please, take this instead!
But it takes your most prized possesion.It starts at your feet,
All death must lead pain.
It cuts of your toes
With the tip of the blade.
The blood warms your feet
Floods what’s left of your shoes.
Then it drags the knife up.The edges of your ankles are outlined in red,
Soon your legs have long scratches
That stain the sidewalk.
Your belly–Like carving a jack-o-lantern,
It starts with the eyes,
Evil red triangles
That cry blood.
The nose of the same shape
Drips.
The mouth is an undeserving smile.
Sharp teeth, menacing grin…
It carved its face into your skin.It etches slashes in your neck.
It’s hard to breathe.
Your head starts to wobble from blood loss and pain.Why aren’t you dead yet?
Why must you survive this?
It stabs deep in your head.
Life is unfair.
Blood clogs your eyes,
You scream, but voice must have been lost.
When the creature nearly cut your head off.
When the knife finally reaches your brain,
You’re momentarily paralyzed in pain.
Soon you’re relieved.
You fall to the ground.Maybe if you stayed inside this Halloween,
You’d be alive to trick or treat later in a life
That you no longer possess.
It is not real, it never happened to me or anybody that I knew—- ENJOY!!
4/17/13
Shanice .A.
WHEN I’M GONE
I don’t belong here, I never did, nobody wants me here, I don’t even want my self here.
There’s a way for me to get out, but it comes with consequences, I won’t be able to come back, but I don’t care.
When I’m gone, they’ll be jumping for joy, screaming, and laughing, I guess I’ll be happy too, since I won’t be there to make them miserable.
Every little mistake I do, they judge.
They don’t even know my name, but they don’t care, they still make false accusations.
Now I’m gone, but they’re sad, I don’t why. “Just cut the act!” I scream, but no one can hear me. “I know you’re just faking” I yell, angrier this time.
They were the cause of this, the least they could do was confess.
“Stop being such a wimp!” I hear them scream.
I remember that day.I was in the bathroom when they came from no where and attacked me.There were 3 of them. One of them grabbed me by my hair, took me into the bathroom stall made me get on my knees in front of the toilet, and told me to wash my face in it. “Ohhh, what’s wrong? You scared?” said another girl. “Okay then, let me help you out!” She took me head and plunges it into the toilet. she took my head again and brought it back up. The second girl grabbed me by my hair and tried to plunge it into the toilet, but I fought back and screamed. The third girl hit me in my face and said “Stop being such a wimp!”
I remember coming home and my parents asking me what had happened to my face and why i was so wet. I told them that I had gym last period and we had to run 9 laps, they believed me, and told me to wash-up before dinner, that was exactly what I did. While I was in the shower, I cried, I cried until my eyes were burning and I couldn’t breathe, I scrubbed my face really hard. When I got out the shower and looked at myself, I cried some more, part of my face was a little bloody from scrubbing so hard,my face was red and bruise.
I wish that I actually told my parents what happened to me, I wonder what they would’ve done…
At the funeral everybody from my school was there, most of the students, I didn’t even know went to my school. People were mourning over my corpse. The corpse with the rope mark around her neck, the corpse with the red blotchy face, the corpse with the unseen tear stains, the corpse with the broken heart, the corpse with a broken future, the corpse too young to be where she was laying.
Everybody was quiet, my parents were in the corner, silently blaming and cursing themselves for what happened to me, but it wasn’t their fault, it was nobody’s fault, but mine, for being who I was. Most of the people were crying softly.
I didn’t know they cared that much, but that was probably what they did at everybody’s funeral.
“Stop feeling sorry for me, your feelings towards me aren’t real, you don’t even know me!” I screamed, everybody was faking and I knew it, they didn’t care about me.
All of a sudden, everybody was giving speeches about what they missed about me or whatever. I was shocked to have found out that people actually did know me and thought I was funny, nice, and smart. I felt bad, I thought they were faking but what they were saying about me made me feel guilty about everything that I was saying about them. I was slowly fading away….
I woke up on my bed, it was all a dream. I looked around and saw my diary open, it said “When I’m gone, everybody will be jumping for joy, screaming and laughing.” I crossed those words out and wrote, “When I’m gone, everybody will miss me and sad, because I was a funny, nice, and smart person.”
Here is a writing share from Nerdy Teen Girl. Enjoy!
Here’s one from Prompt #356
The couple sat on the dock, watching as the sun met the sea with a blaze of light. Their swinging legs dangled over the side, stretching towards the orange-tinted water. “How long?” Caleb asked, watching the glimmering waves rise into the air, then fall as a gentle breeze pushed them back under. “Another few minutes.” Maya sat beside him, tense, closed. He had never felt her shut him out before. A white bandage was wrapped around the girl’s upper arm, the plain surface believing the wreckage underneath. The girl reached out a shaking arm, searching for his familiar fingers. He took her small, calloused hand in his, squeezing gently. Looking into her eyes, made golden by the sunset, he watched a single tear roll down her cheek. His heart ached. Catching his breath, Caleb tried to restrain his own tears. Suddenly Maya gasped. Taking her quickly in his arms, the usually clumsy boy laid her down on the sun-warmed dock. “I’m here, I’m with you,” he choked. He raised her hand to his lips, conveying his emotions with a gentle kiss. “My angel, my Maya, I’m here darling.” She smiled sadly. Even as the deadly poison raced towards her heart, she graced the world with her splendor. “You always said I was too beautiful for this earth,” she whispered. He tried to stifle his sobs, but it was no use. Salty tears rolled down his suntanned face. “I did, didn’t I?” He said. “I’m glad, it’s a sunset,” she murmured, turning to face the setting sun. “I always thought endings were beautiful.” The boy gathered Maya into his arms as her hand fell limp. His body wracked with sobs. “I don’t think I will see the morning,” he said. But in his heart he knew he would see the sun rise tomorrow, and the next day, and a hundred times more.
Here a new post from NerdyTeenGirl. Check it out! It’s great!
Here’s my story for Prompt #488.
Counting Steps
The sun warmed my back as I bit into a very American food in a very not-American place. Eric grinned and gestured at the structure before us with his hot dog. “The Eiffel tower, Natalee, can you believe it? Paris, at last! You’ve always wanted to come!” His blue eyes shone in the bright mid-morning light. Still staring at the tower in awe, he took another bite of his hot dog. I looked at it hard, but all I could see was a collection of metal lumps. I tried to see it like Eric saw it-like Eric saw everything-with excitement and admiration, but the tower blurred as my eyes stung. Quickly taking a tasteless mouthful of food, I dashed away the tears. Later, we walked hand in hand down a quaint cobblestone pathway by a small channel. The sun was almost directly above us, the only sounds were the birds and our footsteps echoing off the old walls. When Eric spoke, his voice brimmed with sadness. “You’re doing it again Nat,” he said. Grief clutched at my stomach with a cold hand. I hadn’t realized. Wondering if he could forgive me again, my voice choked. He looked away, his hand lax in my grasp. “You’re counting steps.”
This section was created to allow readers of my blog to share their writing with other writers. If you write something in the comment section then I will post it for a week so others can check it out. Here my second submission by Maria Jones.
The Clans
Maria Jones
©4-6-13
I tried my hardest to not seem afraid of her, but it was difficult. I’m an uma shifter; it’s in my nature to fear.
“Your clan cannot survive forever like this” she said, her grayish-black hair falling ominously over her eyes, “running like cowards. They’ll be annihilated swiftly if they don’t adapt. Fast.”
“Is that all the Okami Clan’s good for? Making threats?”
I was pushing it.
The girl smiled at me. She resembled Sadako.
“You’re a brave one, pony. However, you’ve pushed your luck.”
My eyes widened as the girl’s hair engulfed her body. Her eyes widened and her nails did, too, thickening. What was I thinking standing up to an okami?
Quickly, I shifted. My face lengthened and my fingers and toes fused together. Once the transformation was done, I was a well-muscled Thoroughbred. However, the girl across from me was a wolf. What chance did I have?
In our animal states, we couldn’t speak in human tongues, but our minds could. Her mind told me one thing: Run.
I galloped out of the machiya, my hooves echoing off the cobblestones. Behind me, I heard growling and claws scraping. I was outnumbered.
You can’t hide from us! Her voice screamed throughout my head.
I kept running, realizing that my transformation was useless. Umas can only run away or fight ‘til the death.
Slowly, I stopped running, turned around, and bared my teeth. I would not stain my clan’s honor by dying a coward.
Hyonju A.
This is my story for Prompt # 490
Snap! I heard the sound of branches snapping as I walked.
“D-did you hear that?” I could feel myself trembling with every step we took. Cassidy snickered, and lightly shoved me on the shoulder.
“Oh my god, Lauri. Are you seriously scared about some branches snapping?” she asked with a playful tone.
“W-what if it was a serial killer? Or a psychopath? Or a-“ I was cut off by Cassidy laughing at me.
“Puh-lease, Laur. This is Azure Wood. Nothing bad ever happens here. And you’re 16, for gods sake, not some little 6 year old who wants her mommy!” she fake-cried, and laughed again. “But hey, if you wanna miss out on the biggest party of the year, fine with me.” She started to sprint off to the neighborhood.
“No, wait, I’m coming,” I ran to catch up to her. But there was no sign of her anywhere, and her laugh was but a distant echo. It was like she had vanished.
“C-Cassidy, if this is some trick you’re playing, then its not funny,” I sputtered out as I kept on walking. “I’m going to the party without you if you don’t come out!”
There was no sound, and the leaves just swirled around me as the wind blew. Terrified, I started running like a madman towards the neighborhood. Within minutes, I was at the doorstep of the house that the party was being held at. There were people dancing on the roof, and beer cans were scattered on the lawn. Brandy, the person who was throwing the party, was partying at the lawn with a group of girls. He glanced in my direction and seemed to see me. His eyes lit up and he started to make his way through the crowd. Finally, he made it to me.
“Hey, Lauri, glad you could make it. Where’s your friend?” he asked.
“Brandy, I-I don’t know. She just… disappeared,” I mumbled, but Brandy just kept on smiling his I’m-so-cool-I-don’t-show-any-emotion smile and put his hand on my shoulders.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure she’s fine. You want something to drink?” he held a cup of some sort of liquid towards me.
“Um, what is it?” I asked.
“Just something to get your mood started.” He winked at me.
I tentatively took the cup and took a small sip. It tasted pretty good, but had a strong alcoholic feel.
“Well, how is it?” Brandy asked.
“Pretty good, actually. What’s this made of?”
“There’s some whiskey in there, and some other things. Came up with it myself.” He smiled proudly, but I started to gag.
“Alcohol? You gave me alcohol?!” I spat and coughed out. Brandy just smiled.
“Hey, the goodie goodie needs to break the rules, too,” he said coyly. “Come on, lets party!” He grabbed my hand with his abnormally ice cold hands. I tried to slip out of his grasp, but he was strong.
“No, I’m going home! I’m getting worried about Cassidy, and let me go!” I hit his face with my purse, and that seemed to loosen his grip on my hand long enough for me to slip from his grasp. I started to run as fast as I could into the woods, and could hear Brandy yell. I didn’t pay attention, and kept on sprinting as fast as I could.
I was almost through the woods when I rammed into something very hard. As I tried to regain my vision, I felt something sink down into my throat.
“Mmm, you’re better than I thought you would be,” someone whispered through big gulps. “Even better than Cassidy was.”
I looked up and saw Brandy, but he seemed different. His eyes had a reddish tint, and his teeth seemed whiter and sharper. My blood was trickling down his lips and pale chin.
“Y-you’re a vampire,” I mumbled, and Brandy laughed.
“And soon so will you be,” he whispered in my ear. “I’ve been wanting you for quite some time.” He kept on sinking his teeth into my throat, and then slowly let go. I could feel a paralyzing venom go through my body, and soon I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
“What are you doing to me?” I mumbled, losing consciousness by the second.
“The same thing that he did to me,” a familiar voice cooed. Like Brandy, she seemed the same, but only had a murderous look in her reddish eyes.
“Cassidy,” I muttered, then closed my eyes.
This is a new prompt submitted May 3,2016 Kamdyn to prompt 720.
Honesty
Why did I not think of consequences?
Whilst we rejoiced in a brief happiness,
Truth arrived and mingled with silences
And my former joy turned into vastness
Doth the honor of truth overpower
The short-lived pleasure of a web of lies?
Yes! For a web someday must devour
And truth, as pure as thou, shall never die
Though earn I did not, forgiveness I ask
Thou heart, made of gold, will surely pardon
I vow, no more now, will the truth be masked
Words I speak will be pure – chirps in gardens
And my lesson is learned, I swear to thee
Never again will I slight honesty
I take back my tears!!!
I take back my tears
the wasted years
I spent crying
for what never could happen
I take back my heart
my shattered heart
Up off the ground
and back in my arms
I take back my hope
wasted on you
and toss it aside
for it has no meaning now
Nothing you say
no words
no songs
can heal the bleeding wound
That you opened again and again
I walk a free woman
held by nothing of yours
and flyaway free
as free as the wind
Here’s new submission. It’s really unique and powerful. I think it speaks to the issues and problems we are facing today. Words are powerful. Check this story out! And thanks for sharing your writing with us Kamdyn! 5/5/16
Once upon a time, there was a girl who could do something that nobody else could. She could see the monsters that her peers ignored. The monsters were terrible, hideous, blemishes on the face of society, creatures whose names were common words like Cruelty and Bullying, and they were led by the darkest one of them all, the horrid king of the deepest of evils, Injustice.
When the girl spoke of the monsters, her peers looked at her strangely, or told her that she was crazy. When she insisted that somebody combat thier invisible foes, they said that she was too aggressive, too mean, even, and that there were no problems in their world.
So the girl, disgusted by their cowardice, took up her sword and pulled on her armor, and walked alone onto the battlefield. Injustice was waiting for her, and when she came into its sight, it laughed; for her sword was a pencil and her armor was her confidence. She used her pencil to write the words that would inform the rest of the world of the terrible threat, and her confidence would prevent Injustice’s ally Self-Doubt from crushing her.
But there wasn’t just a single battle. There was a war that was yet to be fought, a war that would shape the rest of the world, a change that the girl wanted to lead with her words and her bravery.
No matter what her peers had to say about it.
TeenGirlsthatWrite 
Don’t be afraid to just leave a comment and share your thoughts or frustrations about writing.
Haha my Halloween poem that I mentioned on like 2 other places on this blog:
Creeping down the dimly lit streets
It chases you, knife in hand.
Bloody from its previous victims
Killed from the most fatal event.
You feel the glare of the firey red eyes,
Slits stabbed in its head.
You hear the low growl that escape
Between long blade-sharp teeth.
Your soul knows it’s stalking you;
Your being begs you to run.
But your mind ignores the thoughts:
It thinks you’re scaring yourself
On this unbelieveably dark night.
It’s black as coal,
It’s blind as bat eyes;
The only thing to light your path
Is slowly rotting deformed faces.
You stop just once
To grab your wants,
But this is a mistake.
You want to scream,
Please, take this instead!
But it takes your most prized possesion.
It starts at your feet,
All death must lead pain.
It cuts off your toes
With the tip of the blade.
The blood warms your feet
Floods what’s left of your shoes.
Then it drags the knife up.
The edges of your ankles are outlined in red,
Soon your legs have long scratches
That stain the sidewalk.
Your belly–
Like carving a jack-o-lantern,
It starts with the eyes,
Evil red triangles
That cry blood.
The nose of the same shape
Drips.
The mouth is an undeserving smile.
Sharp teeth, menacing grin…
It carved its face into your skin.
It etches slashes in your neck.
It’s hard to breathe.
Your head starts to wobble from blood loss and pain.
Why aren’t you dead yet?
Why must you survive this?
It stabs deep in your head.
Life is unfair.
Blood clogs your eyes,
You scream, but voice must have been lost.
When the creature nearly cut your head off.
When the knife finally reaches your brain,
You’re momentarily paralyzed in pain.
Soon you’re relieved.
You fall to the ground.
Maybe if you stayed inside this Halloween,
You’d be alive to trick or treat later in a life
That you no longer possess.
Sorry if it sucks; I don’t usually write horror. 🙂
I love it. It is scary and reminds me of the book Unwound. I love how death slowly travels up the character’s body. Great job! Can I post it on Your Words? Sorry I didn’t see the post before.
This is my story for Prompt # 490. Thanks for your interesting prompts!
Snap! I heard the sound of branches snapping as I walked.
“D-did you hear that?” I could feel myself trembling with every step we took. Cassidy snickered, and lightly shoved me on the shoulder.
“Oh my god, Lauri. Are you seriously scared about some branches snapping?” she asked with a playful tone.
“W-what if it was a serial killer? Or a psychopath? Or a-“ I was cut off by Cassidy laughing at me.
“Puh-lease, Laur. This is Azure Wood. Nothing bad ever happens here. And you’re 16, for gods sake, not some little 6 year old who wants her mommy!” she fake-cried, and laughed again. “But hey, if you wanna miss out on the biggest party of the year, fine with me.” She started to sprint off to the neighborhood.
“No, wait, I’m coming,” I ran to catch up to her. But there was no sign of her anywhere, and her laugh was but a distant echo. It was like she had vanished.
“C-Cassidy, if this is some trick you’re playing, then its not funny,” I sputtered out as I kept on walking. “I’m going to the party without you if you don’t come out!”
There was no sound, and the leaves just swirled around me as the wind blew. Terrified, I started running like a madman towards the neighborhood. Within minutes, I was at the doorstep of the house that the party was being held at. There were people dancing on the roof, and beer cans were scattered on the lawn. Brandy, the person who was throwing the party, was partying at the lawn with a group of girls. He glanced in my direction and seemed to see me. His eyes lit up and he started to make his way through the crowd. Finally, he made it to me.
“Hey, Lauri, glad you could make it. Where’s your friend?” he asked.
“Brandy, I-I don’t know. She just… disappeared,” I mumbled, but Brandy just kept on smiling his I’m-so-cool-I-don’t-show-any-emotion smile and put his hand on my shoulders.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure she’s fine. You want something to drink?” he held a cup of some sort of liquid towards me.
“Um, what is it?” I asked.
“Just something to get your mood started.” He winked at me.
I tentatively took the cup and took a small sip. It tasted pretty good, but had a strong alcoholic feel.
“Well, how is it?” Brandy asked.
“Pretty good, actually. What’s this made of?”
“There’s some whiskey in there, and some other things. Came up with it myself.” He smiled proudly, but I started to gag.
“Alcohol? You gave me alcohol?!” I spat and coughed out. Brandy just smiled.
“Hey, the goodie goodie needs to break the rules, too,” he said coyly. “Come on, lets party!” He grabbed my hand with his abnormally ice cold hands. I tried to slip out of his grasp, but he was strong.
“No, I’m going home! I’m getting worried about Cassidy, and let me go!” I hit his face with my purse, and that seemed to loosen his grip on my hand long enough for me to slip from his grasp. I started to run as fast as I could into the woods, and could hear Brandy yell. I didn’t pay attention, and kept on sprinting as fast as I could.
I was almost through the woods when I rammed into something very hard. As I tried to regain my vision, I felt something sink down into my throat.
“Mmm, you’re better than I thought you would be,” someone whispered through big gulps. “Even better than Cassidy was.”
I looked up and saw Brandy, but he seemed different. His eyes had a reddish tint, and his teeth seemed whiter and sharper. My blood was trickling down his lips and pale chin.
“Y-you’re a vampire,” I mumbled, and Brandy laughed.
“And soon so will you be,” he whispered in my ear. “I’ve been wanting you for quite some time.” He kept on sinking his teeth into my throat, and then slowly let go. I could feel a paralyzing venom go through my body, and soon I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
“What are you doing to me?” I mumbled, losing consciousness by the second.
“The same thing that he did to me,” a familiar voice cooed. Like Brandy, she seemed the same, but only had a murderous look in her reddish eyes.
“Cassidy,” I muttered, then closed my eyes.
Hyonju this is a great story and thank you for submitting to my Your Words page. I love that Brandy seems quite normal when we first meet him. Your dialogue is one key these characters all have a unique way of speaking and they really feel like real people. Great job. I also like the mention of someone else being in charge when Brandy mentions that he is going to change her like he did.
Do you plan to continue the story?
I wrote this for The Sweetest Dark Flash Contest on Figment.com It had to be 250 words or shorter, so forgive me if anything’s not clarified.
The Clans
Maria Jones
©4-6-13
I tried my hardest to not seem afraid of her, but it was difficult. I’m an uma shifter; it’s in my nature to fear.
“Your clan cannot survive forever like this” she said, her grayish-black hair falling ominously over her eyes, “running like cowards. They’ll be annihilated swiftly if they don’t adapt. Fast.”
“Is that all the Okami Clan’s good for? Making threats?”
I was pushing it.
The girl smiled at me. She resembled Sadako.
“You’re a brave one, pony. However, you’ve pushed your luck.”
My eyes widened as the girl’s hair engulfed her body. Her eyes widened and her nails did, too, thickening. What was I thinking standing up to an okami?
Quickly, I shifted. My face lengthened and my fingers and toes fused together. Once the transformation was done, I was a well-muscled Thoroughbred. However, the girl across from me was a wolf. What chance did I have?
In our animal states, we couldn’t speak in human tongues, but our minds could. Her mind told me one thing: Run.
I galloped out of the machiya, my hooves echoing off the cobblestones. Behind me, I heard growling and claws scraping. I was outnumbered.
You can’t hide from us! Her voice screamed throughout my head.
I kept running, realizing that my transformation was useless. Umas can only run away or fight ‘til the death.
Slowly, I stopped running, turned around, and bared my teeth. I would not stain my clan’s honor by dying a coward.
———————————————————————————————————————–
Uma: Japanese for ‘Horse’
Okami: Japanese for ‘Wolf’
Machiya: Japanese for ‘house’ (don’t quote me on this one. I forgot!)
Sadako: Japanese horror character
Maria,
This story is great! I love when Uma turns back and decides to fight; tories with characters have to overcome their fear are the most compelling. I think those kinds of characters are the most interesting like Frodo from “Lord of the Rings” when characters face their greatest fear and transform into someone they never thought they were capable of that’s when things really get interesting. It would make a great graphic novel! One thing though remember to capitalize proper names and use quotations when people are talking. Can I post this on your words? Check of Kickstarter. It’s a crowdfunding site when writers and artists raise money for their projects. A friend of mine raised money for his first graphic novel.
Let me know if I can post it and thank you for sharing your writing me me!!
You may post it on my words. I appreciate the little feedback.
Also, thanks for letting us share our writing! It was fun! ❤
It is not real, it never happened to me or anybody that I knew—- ENJOY!!
4/17/13
Shanice .A.
WHEN I’M GONE
I don’t belong here, I never did, nobody wants me here, I don’t even want my self here.
There’s a way for me to get out, but it comes with consequences, I won’t be able to come back, but I don’t care.
When I’m gone, they’ll be jumping for joy, screaming, and laughing, I guess I’ll be happy too, since I won’t be there to make them miserable.
Every little mistake I do, they judge.
They don’t even know my name, but they don’t care, they still make false accusations.
Now I’m gone, but they’re sad, I don’t why. “Just cut the act!” I scream, but no one can hear me. “I know you’re just faking” I yell, angrier this time.
They were the cause of this, the least they could do was confess.
“Stop being such a wimp!” I hear them scream.
I remember that day.I was in the bathroom when they came from no where and attacked me.There were 3 of them. One of them grabbed me by my hair, took me into the bathroom stall made me get on my knees in front of the toilet, and told me to wash my face in it. “Ohhh, what’s wrong? You scared?” said another girl. “Okay then, let me help you out!” She took me head and plunges it into the toilet. she took my head again and brought it back up. The second girl grabbed me by my hair and tried to plunge it into the toilet, but I fought back and screamed. The third girl hit me in my face and said “Stop being such a wimp!”
I remember coming home and my parents asking me what had happened to my face and why i was so wet. I told them that I had gym last period and we had to run 9 laps, they believed me, and told me to wash-up before dinner, that was exactly what I did. While I was in the shower, I cried, I cried until my eyes were burning and I couldn’t breathe, I scrubbed my face really hard. When I got out the shower and looked at myself, I cried some more, part of my face was a little bloody from scrubbing so hard,my face was red and bruise.
I wish that I actually told my parents what happened to me, I wonder what they would’ve done…
At the funeral everybody from my school was there, most of the students, I didn’t even know went to my school. People were mourning over my corpse. The corpse with the rope mark around her neck, the corpse with the red blotchy face, the corpse with the unseen tear stains, the corpse with the broken heart, the corpse with a broken future, the corpse too young to be where she was laying.
Everybody was quiet, my parents were in the corner, silently blaming and cursing themselves for what happened to me, but it wasn’t their fault, it was nobody’s fault, but mine, for being who I was. Most of the people were crying softly.
I didn’t know they cared that much, but that was probably what they did at everybody’s funeral.
“Stop feeling sorry for me, your feelings towards me aren’t real, you don’t even know me!” I screamed, everybody was faking and I knew it, they didn’t care about me.
All of a sudden, everybody was giving speeches about what they missed about me or whatever. I was shocked to have found out that people actually did know me and thought I was funny, nice, and smart. I felt bad, I thought they were faking but what they were saying about me made me feel guilty about everything that I was saying about them. I was slowly fading away….
I woke up on my bed, it was all a dream. I looked around and saw my diary open, it said “When I’m gone, everybody will be jumping for joy, screaming and laughing.” I crossed those words out and wrote, “When I’m gone, everybody will miss me and sad, because I was a funny, nice, and smart person.”
Shanice I like the twist in the end that after feeling like no one cared about girl, your character saw that she was wrong people do care about her. I think that adding the twist is important because teens that think about killing themselves don’t realize that there are people who love them and will hurt when they are gone. I don’t know if you wanted me to give you feedback but I wrote a few notes just in case you do. It’s a very good story and it’s timely and important especially with teens killing themselves so often. It really allows your readers to get a glimpse of the world of bullied kids. I know it can be this bad but most people wouldn’t believe that all of this or even worse could be inflicted on someone.
You wrote about what happened to the girl but how did she feel? How did the water from the toilet smell and feel as it wet her face. Use all your senses to tell the story so we can feel it too.
Watch for typos with capitalization. Always capital the word I and at the beginning of sentences.
Shanice can I post your story? I haven’t heard from you since you submitted to Your Words. I hope I didn’t upset you. I LOVED YOUR STORY.
Carol
Hey! First off, I love your blog. Here’s my story for Prompt #488. I hope you won’t mind if I also post it online at teenink.com. 🙂 My account is http://www.teenink.com/users/PotterWhoLocked if you want to check it out.
Counting Steps
The sun warmed my back as I bit into a very American food in a very not-American place. Eric grinned and gestured at the structure before us with his hot dog. “The Eiffel tower, Natalee, can you believe it? Paris, at last! You’ve always wanted to come!” His blue eyes shone in the bright mid-morning light. Still staring at the tower in awe, he took another bite of his hot dog. I looked at it hard, but all I could see was a collection of metal lumps. I tried to see it like Eric saw it-like Eric saw everything-with excitement and admiration, but the tower blurred as my eyes stung. Quickly taking a tasteless mouthful of food, I dashed away the tears. Later, we walked hand in hand down a quaint cobblestone pathway by a small channel. The sun was almost directly above us, the only sounds were the birds and our footsteps echoing off the old walls. When Eric spoke, his voice brimmed with sadness. “You’re doing it again Nat,” he said. Grief clutched at my stomach with a cold hand. I hadn’t realized. Wondering if he could forgive me again, my voice choked. He looked away, his hand lax in my grasp. “You’re counting steps.”
This one is really great too. Wow I am impressed with what you came up with. You are very talented.
Thank you so much!
Hi! Yes, it’s me again. I like writing short stories, and your blog is a wealth of ideas. Here’s one from Prompt #356
The couple sat on the dock, watching as the sun met the sea with a blaze of light. Their swinging legs dangled over the side, stretching towards the orange-tinted water. “How long?” Caleb asked, watching the glimmering waves rise into the air, then fall as a gentle breeze pushed them back under. “Another few minutes.” Maya sat beside him, tense, closed. He had never felt her shut him out before. A white bandage was wrapped around the girl’s upper arm, the plain surface believing the wreckage underneath. The girl reached out a shaking arm, searching for his familiar fingers. He took her small, calloused hand in his, squeezing gently. Looking into her eyes, made golden by the sunset, he watched a single tear roll down her cheek. His heart ached. Catching his breath, Caleb tried to restrain his own tears. Suddenly Maya gasped. Taking her quickly in his arms, the usually clumsy boy laid her down on the sun-warmed dock. “I’m here, I’m with you,” he choked. He raised her hand to his lips, conveying his emotions with a gentle kiss. “My angel, my Maya, I’m here darling.” She smiled sadly. Even as the deadly poison raced towards her heart, she graced the world with her splendor. “You always said I was too beautiful for this earth,” she whispered. He tried to stifle his sobs, but it was no use. Salty tears rolled down his suntanned face. “I did, didn’t I?” He said. “I’m glad, it’s a sunset,” she murmured, turning to face the setting sun. “I always thought endings were beautiful.” The boy gathered Maya into his arms as her hand fell limp. His body wracked with sobs. “I don’t think I will see the morning,” he said. But in his heart he knew he would see the sun rise tomorrow, and the next day, and a hundred times more.
I love it! I am posting it right away!
Carol
I LOVEDDD “When I’m Gone”! Absolutely Amazing!!! Props to whoever had wrote that one! 🙂
I’m a little late in posting this, but it’s my first and I wanted it to be decent. 🙂 It’s my response to prompt #539. It’s kind of brief, so not a ton of detail, but if people like it, I may lengthen it. Criticisms are encouraged. 🙂 Thank you!
“I went to the estate sale on Carltun Place, bought a pretty necklace, paid for it, and them put it on as I walked home. That’s the last I remember! Why don’t you believe me,” I sobbed, repeating, for what felt like the thousandth time, my story, since I woke up a day and a half ago in, get this, a jail cell. I awoke, feeling thirsty and light headed, I was dehydrated, the doctors told me. I called out and about five guards came running. Apparently my voice was different, higher, less gruff, they said. It was then that I realized where I was.
And that I didn’t remember a thing.
It felt like I went to sleep and woke up the next day, except it wasn’t the next day. It was two weeks later. Two weeks! And I don’t remember a thing. I was immediately brought to an interrogation room that felt vaguely familiar. Like I’d been there in a dream. That’s when they told me I’d been acting strangely for the past couple weeks. But that was all of the information they provided, no elaboration. They seemed like they’d expected me to fill in the gaps for them, but I didn’t even know how I’d gotten there.
“Take me to my family! My mother and father! My brother! Someone! Any familiar face! Please,” I begged. “Do any of you have children? Oh they must be worried sick about me! Can’t you just-”
“Stop Adelaide. There is something we need to tell you. You may want to sit down,” the officer directly in front of me said.
I glanced around at the other officers. Neither of them would look me in the eye. I sat down, slowly, unsure of what to think.
“Adelaide…there’s no easy way to tell you this. Your parents…your brother…most of your friends…they’ve…well they’ve been killed.”
I stared at him. I didn’t want to believe him. I didn’t, I didn’t, I didn’t! I felt fresh tears stream down my face.
“Who?” I asked in a feeble voice, just before I surrendered myself to the shuddering sobs that racked my body. “Who killed them?” I whispered.
The three officers in the room shared a look until finally one of them spoke up.
“You did.”
Great twist in the ending. I love the build up to her discovering that she killed her family. Does she notices things different that give us clues to what happened? I guess now she wouldn’t have the necklace anymore but are there lasting affects from it. Does she miss it like Gollum missed the ring in “Lord of the Rings”? And why isn’t she wondering why she’s in jail? What if she notices the change in her voice and other changes. Maybe her new self changed how she was before. A tattoo? A new hair cut? Something.
Great job! Can I post this on Your Words?
Thank you for your thoughts, and I would be flattered if you posted my story on Your Words. Thank you again!
Hi!
I have another short story for you. On Figment.com, there was a contest. In 500 words or less, you had to write a story that started with a rumor. So, here it goes!
Rumor Had It
Maria Jones
©6/5/2013
Rumor had it that Tiana slept around with Jason Crane, the basketball star.
The rumor was wrong, but that didn’t matter. You couldn’t say much to change people’s minds when you were walking about with a seven-month-pregnant belly.
Rumor had it that Tiana also slept around with the football star. That rumor was almost true. She and Aaron had studied together once and fell asleep in front of their parents. So…that rumor had it true (to an extent).
Rumor had it that Tiana was an uncontrollable slut, unable to keep her legs closed. That rumor was false. Case closed.
Rumor had it that Tiana went around seducing the boyfriends of girls who could barely hold on to their men. She had never dated a boy in her life. This rumor caused her to lose her best friend, who was afraid of losing a guy she had only dated for six weeks. He broke up with her the very next day.
Rumor had it that Tiana smoked fatties behind the school, her matted hair the scent of fresh weed. The only reason her hair smelled like weed was because her mother couldn’t control herself. The woman just had to have a smoke…and she used up all of Tiana’s meager college savings to do it.
Rumor had it that Tiana liked to cut herself just to get people’s attention and pity. That was wrong; her father cut her when her mom wouldn’t take any crap off of him. Tiana was her father’s little whippin’ boy, even while expecting. Daddy didn’t care that he added yet another rumor to Tiana’s burden. Tiana was his little whippin’ boy, his stress reliever.
Rumor had it that Tiana tried to kill her child in her eighth month. That was twisted. Tiana had protected her child when her mother snapped, screaming, “I ain’t taking care of that bastard!” The broken beer bottle went across Tiana’s belly, and she panicked as blood poured everywhere. The baby barely made it.
Rumor had it that Tiana named her daughter Misery because she wanted people to feel sorry for her. No…Tiana named her daughter Misery because that was all she had felt for nine straight months.
Rumor had it that Tiana gave Misery up for adoption because she was a lazy girl who didn’t want to take responsibility for sleeping around. That wasn’t the reason at all. Tiana didn’t want Misery to have to deal with the bloody rumors and the painful truth that her father was her grandfather, too.
Rumor had it that Tiana jumped off the school roof because she couldn’t take the rumors anymore. That was true.
The rumor had it right.
I thought I’d share a comment someone sent me regarding your story. Congrats!!!! 🙂
Holy crap!!!! This is scarily fantastic!!!!!!!! Great job!
This is soo cool!! Thank you so much for featuring my piece!
This is a great thing you’re doing, Carol. To share your talent, passion, and love for writing with aspiring young girls is an unselfish endeavor to be highly praised. And you are! Great job.
Thank you Rick. I really do love. I wish I could do this full time!
Great job !
Thanks 🙂
This is a fictional narrative I wrote for school. I also need help editing it to get it down to two pages.
The dreaded mission
I am out wandering the streets remembering the day I had to leave my house. You may be wondering why I had to leave my house but that remains unseen until I know whether or not I will be able to trust you. I wonder to myself How far could someone tied up travel. That will remain unknown for know.There are endless possibilities. Maybe he managed to untie himself or got someone else to untie him. Warning: if you aren’t trustworthy please don’t keep on reading.
I am currently searching every corner and crack of New York City disguised as a 12 year old boy named Justin Bloom. You may be wondering who I am searching for. Yeah I am on a mission to find a human named Paco. Although I know names pretty well,I cannot remember appearance or age accurately.Part of the reason they made me leave the house was because I a am quick-tempered.
Today I talked to several people. One of them stood out to me. Her name was Jess. I decided to invite her to dinner and let her choose the restaurant.
She told me “Of course I will accept but I am not picky with my food. Where would you like to go?”
I answered her by saying “I have recently moved here and am on a mission so I do not know of any restaurants.”
“Where have you been living and what have you been eating? she asked me puzzled. “Let’s talk about this at dinner.”
“Okay I’ll take you to a restaurant I know of. What time do you want to meet?”
I respond “Let’s me in this spot at 6:00 tonight.” “See you then.”
I guess I’m back on my mission. While I am talking to others I keep Jess in my mind. She has luxurious long brown hair. She has bright blue eyes that make you want to stare into them and she is short just like me. Like I’ve said before I can’t tell people’s ages accurately. I keep asking people for the time fore I do not have a watch. Although my mission hasn’t been any more successful I rush to the meeting spot 5 minutes early. I keep pacing back and forth in the square waiting for her. She drives up to the edge of the square and gets out of a hot pink Rolls- Royce. When I met her I expected her to be an average citizen. I was shocked beyond belief when she got out of the car because I know Rolls- Royces are super expensive.
She comes up to me and says “Sorry for making you wait, I ran into horrendous traffic. Get in the car please?” I follow her into the car.
“It’s okay traffic is not your fault. Where are we going for dinner?”
She responded “it’s a surprise you will find out when you get there.”
We sit quietly in the car and I admire the car. I never believed that I would be in one of the most expensive cars in the world. Maybe my mission isn’t so bad after all.
She startles me by saying “We have arrived at our destination.”
I look outside and I see a fancy restaurant. I believe I am talking to myself within my head but she hears me say “How will I be able to pay for dinner here. I don’t have any money.” She responds by saying “That answers the question why you don’t know of any restaurants.”
I look up startled and say”WHAT?”
“You just told me why you don’t know any restaurants. Don’t worry I’ll pay for your dinner.”
“I meant to tell you that during dinner, I said, but I must have said it aloud thinking that I’ve said it in my head.
” Okay? Will you accept my offer?”
“Let’s go inside.”
She follows me inside and we start looking at the menu and when we have decided what we want she asks me again whether or not if I will accept her offer.
“Oh thanks for your offer but I feel guilty accepting it.”
She burst out saying “You’re poor! You have to accept it!”
“I guess I will accept in then.”
“YOU WILL or else.”
I get up and start to leave.
“No come back. I lose my temper often.”
‘Okay! I’ll give it one more try. I have bad tempers too. Now I have experienced how a temper affects others.”
I sit back down at the table. We wait for our orders to arrive because we had to order out the counter.
“Okay. Do you want to hear my story or do you want to tell yours first? I ask.
“I’ll tell you about mine first. Since it seems I can trust you I will start by telling you that I am under a disguise.”
“So naturally who are you?” Before she responds our order number is called by the announcer. The person I know as Jess gets up and gets our food. She brings the food back to the table. I start eating waiting for her to respond but we have been eating for a while and she hasn’t answered my question yet.
“Okay! Can you please tell me who you are beneath your disguise?”
“Sorry. I forgot to tell you.”
“Just get on with it.” I’m also finished with dinner and I will have to get back to my mission, I snapped.”
“Now I can see your bad temper. I know who you are now although you may not know who I am.”
“Sorry for my bad temper. Can you please tell me?”
“No. Unless you will marry me.”
“Of course I will accept. Now will you tell me?”
“No. Not until we are officially married.”
“Can we have it today?”
“No. I need time to plan.”
“Tomorrow then.”
Since I had finished dinner I decided to take a break from the mission and get some rest. I fall asleep outside on the sidewalk very quickly. It usually takes me several hours due to the business of New York City. I wake up realizing that I don’t know where to meet her. I decide to go to the square where we met the first time. I wait there for hours and she doesn’t show up. I decide to find the restaurant that we ate at last night. She isn’t there either. So I asked people for directions to every church and temple.
After millions of places I find her standing outside of a temple.
She spots me and says “Where have you been?”
“Sorry. I didn’t know where to meet you.”
“Okay. Are you ready.”
“Let’s get this over with.”
“Goodbye.” She turns to walk away.
“No wait. I want to marry you. I am not very emotional.”
We enter the temple together and have a grand ceremony followed by a massive party. After the festivities have ended Jess offers to take me to her house, So I go there wondering what her house would look like. When she parks the car I look out of the window and see a humongous mansion. Although I knew she was rich I didn’t believe she owned the mansion. I just wanted to find out who she really was. When we entered the mansion I found out that we were going to share a bed. I was worried about taking off my disguise because she might be saying that she knows who I am although she doesn’t know who I am. I decided to wait until she got to bed although I was really tired. I waited for several hours but she didn’t go to bed yet so I offered to sleep in another room.
She answered “I’m sorry. I don’t have another bedroom.”
“What,” I asked shocked.
“Yeah. I know you would assume that in a house this big I would have at least two bedrooms. You see that I stay up late before I go to bed. I recommend you go to sleep now.”
“Ok. Thanks. But before I go to bed can you either tell me who you are or tell me who I am?”
“As long as you promise to tell me if I’m correct.
“Alright. I would prefer if you told me who you are than tell me who I am.”
“Okay! I’ll go with the 2nd option. You gave yourself away at the diner.”
“Let’s just start.”
“Okay. Your name is Jess. You have a family made up of monsters.
“Can you tell me what types of monsters they are?”
“It will take forever if you keep interrupting. Okay, that’s good. Your mother is a vampire and your sister is a witch. I can recall the day you left the house. You were forced to bake a 3 layered cake with your sister Tess. Why are you laughing?”
“What you just said was almost the exact same words Tess said to me the day I left. What are the types of cakes I helped to bake?”
“Just be patient. I will get to everything. You can ask questions after I finish. Okay. The three layers were spiderweb cake, devils, food cake and graveyard cake.”
I notice her voice is slowly getting more emotional. “Why are you getting sadder?”
“I’ll get to all the details. Be patient or else I’ll lose my temper and give up telling you the events. Is it okay if for you if I just summarize what happened?”
“Yes.”
“That was a rhetorical question. I’ll start by saying that you were quick- tempered and annoyed about having to bake the cake. Your mom wanted to help out but you guys wouldn’t let her. So you started with the devils food cake. the first step is to get a cauldron and start a fire beneath it. After you take the gag off me I start an argument with Tess. After those events have occurred you started-
I jump at the chance. I realize that she told me who she was beneath her disguise. I try to grab her but she notices before I can.
“What are you doing?”
“You just told me who you are. I have been on a mission to find you.”
“Oh. Great. Now that you’re married you can’t do anything to me.”
“Yes. I can. It’s your choice I can either go to bed or you can continue with the story.”
“Just go to bed.” I went into the room, took of my disguise and pretended to sleep. I was planning a way to capture her and bring her back to my house. She finally got to bed at 3:00 am. She gets in bed believing I am asleep, then I wait a half an hour until I know she is asleep. I grab her and pull her off the bed.
“Monster,” she screams. I found this very ironic due to the fact that I am a monster that looks like Frankenstein.
Hi Meredith sorry I didn’t respond sooner. It’s been a crazy week. I will read your story asap.
The Dreaded Mission
I am wandering the streets remembering the day I had to leave my house. You may be wondering why I had to leave my house but that remains unseen ( use a mystery instead?) until I know whether or not I will be able to trust you. I wonder to myself how someone could have tied up Travel(?). That will remain unknown for now. There are endless possibilities. Maybe he managed to tie himself or got someone else to tie him up. Warning: if you aren’t trustworthy please don’t keep on reading. I am currently searching every corner and crack of New York City disguised as a 12-year-old boy named Justin Bloom. You may be wondering who I am searching for. I am on a mission to find a human named Paco. Although I know names pretty well I cannot remember his appearance or age accurately. Part of the reason they made me leave the house is because I am quick-tempered.
Today I talk to several people. One of them stands out to me. Her name was Jess. I decide to invite her to dinner and let her choose the restaurant. She tells me, “Of course I will accept but I am not picky with my food. Where would you like to go?”
I answer her by saying,“I have recently moved here and am on a mission so I do not know of any restaurants.”
“Where have you been living and what have you been eating?” she asked me puzzled.
“Let’s talk about this at dinner.”
“Okay I’ll take you to a restaurant I know of. What time do you want to meet?”
I respond, “Let’s me in this spot at 6:00 tonight.”
“See you then.”
I guess I’m back on my mission. While talk to others I keep Jess in my mind. She has luxurious long brown hair. She has bright blue eyes that make you want to stare into them and she is short just like me. I keep asking people for the time because I do not have a watch. Although my mission hasn’t been successful I rush to the meeting spot five minutes early. I keep pacing back and forth in the square waiting for her. She drives up to the edge of the square and gets out of a hot pink Rolls- Royce. When I met her I expected her to be an average citizen. I am shocked beyond belief when she got out of the car because I know Rolls- Royces are super expensive. She comes up to me and says, “Sorry for making you wait, I ran into horrendous traffic. Get in the car please?” I follow her into the car.
“It’s okay traffic isn’t your fault. Where are we going for dinner?”
She responds, “It’s a surprise you will find out when you get there.”
We sit quietly in the car and I admire the car. I never believed that I would be in one of the most expensive cars in the world. Maybe my mission isn’t so bad after all. She startles me by saying,
“We have arrived at our destination.”
I look outside and I see a fancy restaurant. I believe I am talking to myself within my head but she hears me say, “How will I be able to pay for dinner here? I don’t have any money.”
She responds by saying, “That answers the question why you don’t know of any restaurants.”
I look up startled and say, ”WHAT?”
“You just told me why you don’t know any restaurants. Don’t worry I’ll pay for your dinner.”
“I meant to tell you that during dinner, I said, but I must have said it aloud thinking that I said it in my head.
“Okay? Will you accept my offer?” She follows me inside and we look at the menu and when we decide what we want she asks me again whether or not if I will accept her offer.
“Oh thanks for your offer but I feel guilty accepting it.”
She burst out saying “You’re poor! You have to accept it!”
“I guess I will accept in then.”
“YOU WILL or else.” I get up and start to leave.
“No come back. I lose my temper often,” she tells me.
‘Okay! I’ll give it one more try. I have a bad temper too. Now I have experienced how a temper affects others. I sit back down at the table. We wait for our orders to arrive because we had to order out the counter.
“Okay. Do you want to hear my story or do you want to tell yours first?” I ask.
“I’ll tell you about mine first. Since it seems I can trust you. I will start by telling you that I am under a disguise.”
“So naturally who are you?” Before she responds our order number is called. Jess gets up and get our food. She brings the food back to the table. I start eating waiting for her to respond but eat for a while and she doesn’t answer my question yet.
“Okay! Can you please tell me who you are beneath your disguise?”
“Sorry. I forgot to tell you.”
“Just get on with it.” I’m finished with dinner and I will have to get back to my mission, I snap.”
“Now I can see your bad temper. I know who you are now although you may not know who I am.”
“Sorry about my bad temper. Can you please tell me?”
“Not unless you will marry me.”
“Of course I will accept. Now will you tell me?”
“No. Not until we are officially married.”
“Can we do it today?”
“No. I need time to plan.”
“Tomorrow then.”
Since I’m finished with dinner I decide to take a break from the mission and get some rest. I fall asleep outside on the sidewalk very quickly. It usually takes me several hours due to the business of New York City. I wake up realizing that I don’t know where to meet her. I decide to go to the square where we met the first time. I wait there for hours and she doesn’t show up. I decide to find the restaurant that we ate at last night. She isn’t there either. I ask people for directions to every church and temple. After searching millions of places I find her standing outside of a temple. She spots me and says, “Where have you been?”
“Sorry. I didn’t know where to meet you.”
“Okay. Are you ready.”
“Let’s get this over with.”
“Goodbye.” She turns to walk away.
“No wait. I want to marry you. I am not very emotional.” We enter the temple together and have a grand ceremony followed by a massive party. After the festivities end Jess offers to take me to her house. I go there wondering what her house would look like. When she parks the car I look out of the window and see a humongous mansion. Although I knew she was rich I didn’t believe she owned the mansion. I just wanted to find out who she really was. When we enter the mansion I find out that we were going to share a bed. I am worried about taking off my disguise because she might be saying that she knows who I am although she doesn’t know who I am. I decide to wait until she got to bed although I was really tired. I wait for several hours but she doesn’t go to bed so I offer to sleep in another room.
She answers, “I’m sorry. I don’t have another bedroom.”
“What?” I ask shocked.
“Yeah. I know you assume that in a house this big I would have at least two bedrooms.
You see that I stay up late before I go to bed. I recommend you go to sleep now.”
“Ok. Thanks but before I go to bed can you either tell me who you are or tell me who I am?”
“As long as you promise to tell me if I’m correct.
“Alright. I prefer that you tell me who you are then tell me who I am.”
“Okay! I’ll go with the 2nd option. You gave yourself away at the diner.”
“Let’s just start.”
“Okay. Your name is Jess. You have a family made up of monsters.
“Can you tell me what types of monsters they are?”
“It will take forever if you keep interrupting. Your mother is a vampire and your sister is a witch. I can recall the day you left the house. You were forced to bake a three-layered cake with your sister. Why are you laughing?”
“What you just said was almost the exact same words Tess said to me the day I left. What are the types of cakes I helped to bake?”
“Just be patient. I will get to everything. You can ask questions after I finish. Okay. The three layers were spider web cake, devils, food cake and graveyard cake.” I notice her voice is slowly getting more emotional. “Why are you getting sadder?”
“I’ll get to all the details. Be patient or else I’ll lose my temper and give up telling you the events. Is it okay if for you if I just summarize what happened?”
“Yes.”
“That was a rhetorical question. I’ll start by saying that you were quick-tempered and annoyed about having to bake the cake. Your mom wanted to help out but you guys wouldn’t let her. So you started with the devils food cake. The first step is to get a cauldron and start a fire beneath it. After you take the gag off me I started an argument with Tess. After those events have occurred you started-
I jump at the chance. I realize that she told me who she was beneath her disguise. I try to grab her but she notices before I can.
“What are you doing?”
“You just told me who you are. I have been on a mission to find you.”
“Oh. Great. Now that you’re married you can’t do anything to me.”
“Yes. I can. It’s your choice I can either go to bed or you can continue with the story.”
“Just go to bed.” I go into the room, take of my disguise and pretend to sleep. I was planning a way to capture her and bring her back to my house. She finally gets to bed at 3:00 am. She gets in bed believing I am asleep, then I wait a half an hour until I know she is asleep. I grab her and pull her off the bed.
“Monster,” she screams. I find this very ironic due to the fact that I am a monster that looks like Frankenstein.
I am not sure who Tess is. It would be better to have characters with names that aren’t similar. I tried to edit it down for you. It’s a good story but I think you leave things out things that are interesting. How did that character get tied up? Is his name Travel? Back and forth dialogue should be on separate lines. Sometime add who is saying what because at the end I am not sure who is speaking. We know she’s a monster so what is ironic. When she sees that he looks like Frankenstein the irony is that she is a monster too. Does she finally take off his disguise and see what he looks like?
Who is she beneath her disguise? What does she look like for real? Maybe make the wedding simple and cut some of that out. Then you can focus on what happens when they go to her house. That part is very good and really interesting.
Here is a small poem I wrote to sort of respond to prompt #724, it doesn’t really follow the rules, but its something! Check it out:
What if…
By: Caroline
What if the ongoing green meadows of Ireland were purple?
What if dirt roads were clouds instead of dirt?
What if you went on a hike and found a hidden trail that lead to the sunset?
What if people could breath underwater?
What if blue smelled like cinnamon?
What if seagulls could talk?
What if ipads never came to be?
What if Mars was an illusion?
What if the Universe was in a large plastic box?
What if the jungle tasted of celery?
What if ranch dressing tasted like candy?
What if people’s minds could control the weather?
What if the ocean never ended, even at the center of the earth?
What if conch shells were actually microphones the mermaids used to listen in on the world? What if there is a whole new world in the core of our planet?
What if mice ruled the world?
What if guns never existed?
What if the intercoastal waterway is the gateway to the galaxy?
What if Africa didn’t have any gold to begin with?
What if there are other islands still to be discovered?
What if the Spice Girls didn’t care what you want?
What if Justin Beiber knew what you meant?
What if Adolf Hitler got accepted into the Art School?
What if Martin Luther King Junior was never born?
What if freckles could form a connect-the-dot picture on your face?
What if Forrest Gump never believed life was like a box of chocolates?
What if there was peace in the world…
great poem. Some of the what ifs would make a good story like what if the highway led a galaxy.
Prompt 720
This Morning
Another day has begun
But I feel shaken.
Chaos everywhere.
Death
Everyone hurting.
Fear
GOD HELP US.
Hurting people
I want to scream
Just wonder what happened
Killed how many
Lasts how long
Must be though
Never mind hope it depressing
Obviously they inflicted pain
PAIN OH THE PAIN
Quite the catastrophe
Really why?
Seriously?
True terrorist tactics
Usually there’s never a warning
Very distrustful
What went wrong?
X-rays needed
You never know
Zoom what’s that?
I love it. It’s so good. It feels like its set in another time. Awesome!
Thanks soo much
Once upon a time, there was a girl who could do something that nobody else could. She could see the monsters that her peers ignored. The monsters were terrible, hideous, blemishes on the face of society, creatures whose names were common words like Cruelty and Bullying, and they were led by the darkest one of them all, the horrid king of the deepest of evils, Injustice.
When the girl spoke of the monsters, her peers looked at her strangely, or told her that she was crazy. When she insisted that somebody combat thier invisible foes, they said that she was too aggressive, too mean, even, and that there were no problems in their world.
So the girl, disgusted by their cowardice, took up her sword and pulled on her armor, and walked alone onto the battlefield. Injustice was waiting for her, and when she came into its sight, it laughed; for her sword was a pencil and her armor was her confidence. She used her pencil to write the words that would inform the rest of the world of the terrible threat, and her confidence would prevent Injustice’s ally Self-Doubt from crushing her.
But there wasn’t just a single battle. There was a war that was yet to be fought, a war that would shape the rest of the world, a change that the girl wanted to lead with her words and her bravery.
No matter what her peers had to say about it.